“Goldilocks and the Three Bares” (1963)
Studio: D&R Pictures
Starring: Rex Marlow, Allison Louise Downe, William Kerwin, Netta Mallina
Directed by: Herschell Gordon Lewis
Rated: Not Rated
Running Time: 69 min.
Synopsis: A singer discovers that his new girlfriend is a nudist.
REVIEW
Chris Woods
Herschell Gordon Lewis and David F. Friedman are mostly known for inventing the splatter or gore film with their Blood Trilogy films, Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs, and Color Me Blood Red. A few know that they started off making nudie cutie films in the early 60’s like The Adventures of Lucky Pierre and Boin-n-g. Goldilocks and the Three Bares is one of those nudie cuties. This was made in the same year where the two transitioned from nudies to gore films. The title of the film is kind of deceiving because looking at a title like Goldilocks and the Three Bares you’re thinking some adult version of the classic fairy tale, but the film is just about a nudist colony.
The film is about a lounge singer and a comedian who get the help from a young woman to build up their act. She is able to get them more jobs around town and builds up their promotion. The young woman falls for the lounge singer, but he notices that she’s hiding something from him. She often goes away on the weekends and she won’t tell the singer where she is running off to. One day the comedian follows her and finds out what the big secret is. She happens to be a nudist and she spends her weekends at a nudist colony. The singer finds out and this destroys their relationship. Will he give in and accept her for what she is or maybe he might join her at the colony.
These nudie cutie films of the 50’s and early 60’s basically just had women and man walking around nude, mostly taking place at a colony. They were not like the later films of the late 60’s, 70’s and beyond where there was nudity and sex. These were basically the innocent nude films where they are just walking around naked in nature. As far as nudie cuties go, it’s a good film and has lots of skin, but not much of an entertaining story, but that’s not what these films are here for.
The film also has a few musical acts in it. There are a few parts with the lounge singer where he would just bust out into a song. It kind of reminded me of an old film from the 30’s or 40’s. What do you know, some class in this nudie cutie? Even though it’s not one of Lewis and Friedman’s splatter films, it still captures that Lewis/Friedman charm that is present in all of their films. Also some of Herschell and David’s alumni’s appear in this film like William Kerwin (as Tommy Sweetwood), famous for his roles in Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs, Scum of the Earth, and A Taste of Blood. Kerwin plays the comedian in the film. There’s also Mal Arnold who played Fuad Ramses in Blood Feast and plays one of the nudist in this film. Allison Louise Downe, who plays the young woman and the nudist in this film, is featured in many of Lewis’ films in different positions. Not only has she acted, but also she was a writer on Blood Feast and She-Devils on Wheels and did many others jobs on many other Herschell films such as special effects, make-up, producing, and second unit or assisting directing.
One more thing, there’s a part where they have the entire nudist camp at the end doing all these different activities and one has all of them on this big yacht. As the camera pans the boat all the nudists wave to it and keep waving. It’s funny how this was used because obviously there’s not suppose to be a movie camera there in the story, but oh well, it’s just a nudie cutie, but thought I would point that out because I thought it was amusing.
If you are a hardcore fan of Lewis or Friedman the film is worth a look just to see a piece from their nudie collection. I’m a big fan of their splatter films and this is the first nudie film I’ve seen from the two of them. I’m curious to see their more well-known nudie cuties, such as The Adventures of Lucky Pierre and Boin-n-g. I’ll have to give them a review one of these days as well.